Do you ever notice when people talk about an unwelcomed situation in their lives that it’s always someone else’s fault. The situation I’d rather not be dealing with is: my bosses’ fault for not telling me enough information, my wife’s fault for not understanding me,  it’s my Pastor’s fault for not doing what I told him to do, my teacher’s fault for being so strict, my colleague’s fault for not meeting a deadline, the kid’s fault for not obeying…and it always somehow the governments’ fault.

Criticalness, fault-finding, judgementalism and blame is a subtle form of self-preservation that enables me to absolve myself of the personal responsibility of my actions. They enable me to feel better about myself compared against my perceptions about other people, no matter how right I think I am. This thinking gives me a false licence to avoid whatever it was that I did to get me to where I am.

You rarely hear people say, “Ya know…the situation is the way it is because I’ve made some really stupid choices.” Or you never hear people say, “Wow…did I ever screw that up!” We pridefully can’t handle the thought of admitting we were wrong or showing people the reality that things are the way they are because of choices I made or didn’t make. It’s much more convenient to blame someone else for the situation I find myself in. It’s much more comforting to live in the dream world that I am just a victim of someone else’s actions. And while there are victims and perpetrators in this world, the reality is that I am the common denominator in all my problems. No matter how much we feel that our present situation is the culmination of a past I didn’t choose, the fact remains that my future reality and perspective is completely my responsibility.

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